Tuesday, May 25, 2010

LIFE MUST MOVE ON

GREETINGS FROM SOUTH AFRICA!!!
MAXMOM here...
Dear friends,
I would like to take this opportunity of thanking the entire blogging community for the tidal wave of support, wishes of condolences and encouragement which you have left us after our dear
MAXDOG
crossed the rainbow bridge yesterday.

It has been immensely strengthening to know that Max, through his blog, has touched so many hearts.  It is for that reason that I am in the process of moving my blogging activities to this blog.  Over the next few weeks,Max's blog will become dormant with the objective of leaving it as a legacy and testament to him. I so want his blog to become a place of sanctuary for both me and my readers to go and reflect upon the life of that beautful animal.

 Max's passing is an enormous loss for me in reality and I know it is going to take time to get "Through" my grief. It is also going to take time to adjust to a whole new way of blogging.

Although yesterday was an extremely difficult day, life moves on. My beautiful boy did most certainly
LIVE LIFE TO THE MAX!...
and for me that is going to be a good example to follow.

 This morning I took on the long overdue task of washing the Malteses. My three canine companions obligued me by posing together for a milli-second in the sunshine after their bath.  I realise that getting decent photographs is going to be a challenging task in the months ahead.  I was so spoiled with Max...he had no problem posing at every opportunity!

By last night, Max's old raw-hide bone had been annexed by TAMMY-GIRL.
She growled at the little dogs attempts to steal what was obviously regarded as her personal heirloom.
She has also assumed authority of her brood of geriatric male canines as she begins to internalise Max's absence...
She lies in the spots where he used to lie and she barks at disturbances at the gate.
Although it's still early, perhaps we'll have a smooth transition into our new pack heirachy.
It's not too bad.....Rolling on the grass is still on her agenda...

So too are chasing the Ibises...

(Old picture...sorry)

Then again, she has been following me around like Velcro. Perhaps she thinks that Max's absence is temporary, but I can't say.  Last night she seemed perfectly comfortable to stretch out on the whole doggie-double-bed in the corner of our bedroom without a blink of an eye.
KING TOFFEE..
was relegated to a small corner.

It seems that KING TOFFEE's nose might remain out of joint.

As for us humans...
The hole that Max has left is big! There are habits which I will have to unlearn...like patting my side when I move to another room, or igoring the small items of washing on the floor. (which he used to pick up behind me) He would always be near me and it was habitual to simply extend my hand to rub his soft ears. These are the aches that give me that all-to-familiar tightening of my throat. But yes...I will get 'through' it!

Please stay with me as I try to reshape my blogging.
...and THANK YOU for being my such faithful cyber friends.
Sending lotsaluv your way

48 comments:

Ms. ~K said...

Yes, life goes on...but we will never be the same.
Thank you for letting us know about Tammy. She has known for a long time that Max was not well.
You both took good care of Max and will take care of each other now.

Hugs to you and belly rubs to the pups,
Kit

Jake of Florida said...

Yes, in thinking about the huge hole that Maxdog has left, we've been wondering how Tammy is doing.

Wirey love to you all,

Jake and Just Harry -- and Joan

kks said...

Life goes on, but not without the wonderful memories of our beloved companions.....wishing you peace during this difficult time and always.....
xoxo

Milo and Alfie Marshall said...

We think Max would want life to go on for his beloved family ~ he would quite literally want yoo all to live life to the Max. Grieve him, but feel the joy (in his name) too.

(((((hugs)))) and purrs.

Love from Milo, Alfie and our mom

Scout 'n Freyja said...

I can truly relate to what you are experiencing. When my ♥dog, Tony, died - for weeks on end I would start to call his name or look for him to be by my side. I would wake in the morning and wonder why the other side of my bed was undisturbed. I'd reach down as I was walking expecting to touch his massive head. I'd be cooking or entering a room or going up the steps and was positive I had seen his shadow just out of reach.

I'd hear his collar tags jingle or stop to listen carefully because I was sure I had heard his deep,resonant bark. I felt less safe and less happy and less complete without him and felt that I would never, ever find a love like his and mine again.

I believe that the soul and spirit of these special dogs stay with us for a period of time - until they are convinced that we are capable of moving on without them. Then one day - when you least expect it - out of the corner of your eye you will see a familiar shadow and you will hear the jingle of collar tags for the last time. The dog that shared the same heart as yours believes that you are moving on and he does the same.

Erin and GuidePupPompei said...

Hugs to you all!
Erin -The Human
Bubbles, Texas & Pompei

Sheila and Bob said...

God Bless you all and know that Max will have a paw in your life always.
Sheila & Bob
Hamish & Sophie

Samantha said...

And you are a living example of the fact that "life goes on" by having washed the malteses and moved physically around to help cope. Thanks for telling us a little about how Tammy has been doing... glad she took possession of the bone. Time will begin to reshape your habits, day by day and hour by hour. We do ache for you and think of you so much. This is a lovely blog to share your multi-hued life - I think it's a wonderful thought to leave Max's blog as a legacy to him.
Huge Hugs xoxoxo
Sammie, Miche and Bill

Tabatha said...

You are in our thoughts!

Mrs. JP said...

We're here with you friend. As close as our thoughts can get us. I'm so glad for your new site.

Barb said...

I posted yesterday that we loved sweet Max, but I failed to say that we feel the same about you and the rest of your "pack". So I will say it now, we love you all very much and will continue to follow you through your blog! I will most definitely stop in and visit Max's blog too, to remember him.

Amy and The House of Cats said...

I know how it is to have to get used to the changes when a pet has to leave - I never really got used to going to my dad's house after our cats passed away and always still looked for them in their usual spots, and after Floyd passed it was strange to change my routine, which had been focused on keeping him well for so long. I still find myself looking for him to give him his medicine at night. It just takes time. And it will take a while with the other dogs too, because they are probably just confused, though I am guessing they knew how sick he was and realized what what was going on more than anyone realizes. I think it is great to leave Max's blog as a legacy to him. We are sending over lots of comforting purrs and prayers for all of you!

Tom, Tama-Chan, Sei-Chan, Yuu-Chan and Bibi-Chan said...

As with so many things, it is the little things that are the hardest. I remember when Tommy first came into my life, my first ever dog, it would drive me totally crazy that, every time I moved, he moved too, always staying by my side. Now I would miss it desperately. It is good that you have the rest of the pack there with you, with all of their needs and the larger than life presence of each one.

Angus said...

Love the new photo on the header. If you're getting through this with only a dry throat then you're mad of sterner stuff than a grumpy old Calvinist in the south of France! I guess Toffee is getting a few extra tickles.

brooke said...

Thank you for continuing blogging even through all you're going through. We love reading up on Tammy and the other tiny doggies and hope that you all will soon be able to adjust to this new phase in your lives.
Hugs from Seattle!

caboval said...

Thank you for letting us know how Tammy is doing and Toffee, But I see another maltese? Thank goodness for your remaining family! ***sigh***Im still shaken up about Max and have a hole in my heart and tears in my eyes! I look around and see yes, life does go on. But what we hold near and dear to our hearts is golden!!! Maxmom, we are lifeltime friends here for you, to lean on and talk to and we will be here for you!!! Hang in there as we are trying to hang in there too!!! Hugs Joey Kealani, and Valerie OXOXOX

TK said...

I so understand that throat-tightening life-hole, the soul crushing moments of uncontrollable tears, which often come at the most inconvenient times.
I hope that writing is as cathartic for you as it is beneficial for us to hear that you are doing ok. Please remember to take care of yourself.

Never Say Never Greyhounds said...

The new normal takes time to get used to.

mayziegal said...

It definitely takes some getting used to the space that they leave behind. I am so glad you have your other dogs to fill some of that void but it's never really the same, is it?

Take things slowly and know we're all here for you.

Hugs,
Amber and Mayzie

the booker man said...

i continue to think of ya'll today and send many hugs of comfort. life does go on, but it will take some time to acclimate to your new life, and for that i wish you a peaceful transition.

*hugs*
the booker man and asa's mama

Madi and Mom said...

I don't know where you find your strength but I am inspired each time I read your blog. Thank you for the update on the rest of the 'family'.
Madi and Mom

Dory and the Mama said...

I so admire your strength. You are such an inspiration to so many of us!!

Tessa the Maltese said...

I agree with Ms K.

"Yes, life goes on...but we will never be the same."

We will never be the same, we will be Better for having known Max!

Thanks Max!!!

We hope that Tammy and the Crew all are able to adjust to Max's absence.

Hugs, Tessa

Piappies World said...

Dear Maxdog Mom,

We are with you through these hard times and we assure you that Max continues to watch over you, his pack and your loved ones. He now knows every thought and feeling that you will go through everyday.

Take all the time you need to adjust for we are here beside you --- to continue to support you in every little way we can possibly can.

You and Max have taught us how to embrace life and be thankful for each precious moment we have with our dear ones.

We admire your strength and your spirit, though in times that you may need anything, we are here for you.


-Fudgie, Princess, Frappie, Mocha, Sugar, Wai-Pai, Wai-Max & the Piappies

Sunny,Scooter(sometimes Jamie) said...

Dear Caryl, I second what Angus said. You must be made of sterner stuff. I had told Angus and will tell you. EVERY dog I have ever lost, I have seen from the corner of my eye for some time. Shamus included. I do not know if it is my mind playing tricks on me or.....
Getting over Tess, my heart dog(and I have been lucky enough to have 3 during my lifetime . Shows how old I am and have been lucky enough to have dogs in my life, ALL my life.) took a very long time. Everyone, including my family(Daddy was already gone. He would have understood) began telling me she was DOG for gosh sake. NO. A heartdog is like a soulmate sent to get one through extremely difficult times and teach special lessons, I think. A heart dog seems to just have a knowing of you, hard to explain really, and this does not mean I do not love ,have loved and missed,mourned each and every dog I have ever had.
All dogs teach lessons, and maybe you are one who understands what I mean by heartdog. It is hard to explain.
Hope the Boss is doing well. Looks like Tammy knew Max was ready too and is doing her best to carry on his spot. Dogs intuit so much.
I have one favorto ask of you dear friend. Let yourself grieve. Cry, carry on(I like to do this by myself...and have been known to pick up a branch and hit a tree very hard while screaming why...that scared my Berner to death when Daddy got killed..so try to be alone)
I do not know why, but that is the kind of grief work that works for me. Being stoic is not what it is cracked up to be.
Holding you in my heart, and thinking of you, your heart dog, my heart dog too....
God Bless Y'all
Much love to you
Jamie and the Texas Sundogs
ps I so regret we were on a blogging hiatus during Max's trip round the world. We would have LOVED to have him....

YD, sometimes with ♥Samantha and ♥June said...

Dear Caryl,

Again, I am so sorry for your loss of Max. I am trying very hard not to cry.
Life does go on but it won't be the same.
I do hope that the rest of the gang will adjust to this change.

YD

Sierra Rose said...

Very sweet post. Mom is reflecting back on Golden Honey...and finding that quite place here at home to put a little Honey memorial...photos, her favorite toy..few other things. Good memories.

Hugs from us.

Khyra, Khousin Merdie, And Sometimes Her Mom said...

We had long thought of Tammy's reaction to it all as the end got closer -

I still hold their sense of smell clues them in sooner than we pick up -

Thanks for the 'pack' update!

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Today and for a while, all those little things will bring on the tears, but with time, they will make you smile - ask our Mom, she knows:)

Woos - Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

doyle and mollie said...

whilst they leave a gap imagine how much would have been missed if that gap hadnt been there in the first place... loves and licks

Paxton said...

Dearest Caryl

Know that you are held uppermost in the thoughts of all of us out here and our prayers will help ease your loss. I hear what you say about small habitual things you did without giving it a thought and having to adjust to the emptiness left with Max's passing over but you will soon discover new and different little things start up with the rest of the pack as everyone adjusts and comes to terms with this 'new' life. You are such a great pack leader and I think you will soon discover Tammy-Girl (and the rest of the gang) giving you a helping paw in this transition period.

And never forget, God never gives us more than we can manage - even if, at the time we think we cannot.

Be strong, MaxMom; we are here for you!

The Life of Riley said...

You've renamed this blog with a great name and a wonderful photo. Max looked like he was enjoying some intersting and wise thoughts, and I look forward to continuing to follow this blog of yours.

Thanks for your update on Tammy, Toffee and Tommy. I had been wondering about Tommy (as he disappeared from the sidebar of Max's blog) and also how Tammy was doing without her boyfriend - but mostly I have been thinking about you and the boss.

Riley and I are sending you hugs, while knowing this transition time will have so many mixed moments of smiles and tears for you both as you remember Max and how he shared his life with you. Little things will be hard as they will bring back memories - but each tear is part of the love you have for Max. Each tear needs to be shed as you remember and grieve - for if we didn't care we would feel nothing, and if we supress our feelings they will still be there, but one thing I do know is that over time the balance between smiles (at memories and old photos) and tears (of grief) changes and although we wish our little friends could still be with us (because they always cross the rainbow bridge too soon) we cross our own bridge and get to a point where our memories and thoughts make us smile (without being also sad) and we truly know how lucky we have been for the limited time that we had together and that our little friend has etched a place forever in our heart. So Caryl and "the Boss" take all the time you need, both together and alone as you adjust to Max not being physically by your sides. It is a very personal journey (that no one can take for you) but while you are on that journey please know that there are so many people around the world who care for you and your family and will miss Max too.

Love
Fran

Junior and Orion said...

It sounds like you are keeping busy and that will help. We are very glad you have more woofies to help you heal.

We love the header picture!

George the Lad said...

Thinking of you at this hard time, I went though the same thing with my Heart dog, just after Christmas. I was not prepared for the physical hurt in my heart and body, and still the oddest thing will trigger it.

You have done a touching tribute, and I am sure Max is there with you in spirit.

Jan and Gorege

sprinkles said...

I thought about you and your family a lot yesterday and especially Tammy, wondering how she was handling everything.

Love the new blog name and header.

I've enjoyed linking to new blogs today and reading all the wonderful tributes to Max. He's touched so many people all across the world and he's going to be missed.

Zona said...

We're thinking of you all during this transition... Max will be greatly missed. Thank you for sharing him with us and for continuing to keep us involved with you pack...

Wags,
Zona

Marg said...

WE are so glad you are going to keep blogging on a new blog. We know what it is like to have a huge hole in your life. It is very hard. But hopefully having this new blog will give you an outlet for new ideas. I think you are very brave to get on with life but what else can you do.
We are sending lots of purrs and woofs and some heehaws and a baa. Many hugs too. Just remember all the wonderful things about Max.
Take care and we certainly will be following this new blog.

Ginger Jasper said...

We will stay with you for sure.. I am so glad Tammy seems to be coping and yes it will take time for you.. You have the might of he paws behind you and we are all with you and here to listen whenever you need to talk. Just yell.. Hugs GJ and Carol xx

Clive said...

We will be with you on every step of your journey, stay strong.

love
Fiona

KT and Lady said...

Tammy, you go girl. Own it, chew it, love it. We Love the new blog name and the picture. Well done.

dogsmom said...

Sending hugs.
I think a new blog is a wonderful idea and leaving Max's blog is fine tribute.
I hope you soon find smiles in your memories.

houndstooth said...

I think Max's legacy will turn out to be richer than you realize now. Finding your new voice with the blog will take time, but I think you will do beautifully. You're such a talented writer anyway that it can only get better.

Life does move on, but do it at your own pace. I didn't always move straight forward after Treat passed away, some days I moved forward, some days I looked back to the past and some days I just sat and cried. We'll all be here for you on your new journey!

Sugar the Golden Retriever said...

Woof! Woof! We just LOVE LOVE the photo and name of your new blog ... just perfectly right. Very touching post. Thanks for sharing. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

We are honored to be able to visit your blog in its new form....

Max is the catylyst of our meeting! Thank you for sharing your feelings and giving us updates on the other members of the pack. It's so hard to tell what goes through their minds with a loss like this...

We grieve for you and dear Max and shall continue to do so for a long while.

Max was a rare old soul....

Kisses,

Scruffy, Lacie, Stanny and Mumsie

Tweedles -- that's me said...

Thank you for opening the door and allowing us to sit with you each day as the story unfolded. As painful as it is, we are all here for you. We have become a family.
We all hurt sometimes for different reasons. Some people cannnot share their pain. But we are touched- because it showed you trusted us. You trusted us to love and feel with you. You allowed us to cry with you. Now we will walk by you and each other- as we all mend.
Tammy and Tommy and Toffee are smart. I believe they understand.
I believe they feel sorrow too.
They need you.
Their baths today, I am sure gave them something to divert their attention. And then there they are sitting in the sun- allowing the rays to touch them,
Thank you for showing your True Colors and for being real.
Together we can help heal each other.
Love
tweedles

KB said...

That threesome must be some solace but I know that you'll need time to get used to Max's physical absence.

I had a wonderful vision today of my four dogs who are waiting on the Rainbow Bridge greeting Max with playbows. Then, they all frolicked in a crystal clear lake. I have visions like that, especially when I notice something beautiful. I hope that our beloved friends are all waiting for us and we'll all be reunited someday.

I like your saying - "Living life to the Max"!

Jacqueline said...

After the death of a loved one, life goes on, but we are never the same=we get "through" it, but we never get "over" it...It becomes part of us, part of our story...There is a line from the movie Shadowlands that has always stayed with me: "The pain now is part of the joy then"; it is so hard to accept when pain becomes part of our story, but, of course, you are doing it with grace Caryl=the same way Max lived and died...Sending love and hugs, wishing you comfort my friend.

Anonymous said...

“A good dog never dies. He always stays. He walks besides you on crisp autumn days when frost is on the fields and winter’s drawing near.His head is within our hand in his old way.”